The Tradition

It is a horrid snowing day at Cresthill Middle School.  Everyone is busy scurrying down the halls to their next classes.  One student, BillyBob McJimaJim, has to make a pitstop.  He pulls a 180 as fast as you can say Worst Possible Thing: The School Bathroom.  He pulls open the door like the Incredible Hulk ripping it from the hinges.  He plows through the next one knowing how urgent he has to go.  He rushes by the kids using the urinal and runs into a stall locking the door.  He pulls out his Tostitos Scoops and Pace Fire Picante.  He sccops a huge scoop of the fiery salsa and relaxes.  He crushes the chip between his teeth of iron and it passes into his stomach of steel.  Not realizing that someone has put saran wrap under the toilet seat he drops the load.  It splatters across the seat, coating his tush in a brown liquid.  He immediately drops his Snack and squints.  The jar of salsa smashes on impact with cold ’tile floor’.  He runs out of the stall to never be seen by anyone again.

The next person who walks into the bathroom sees the salsa spread across the floor.  He investigates further and sees ‘pellets’ spread across the seat he immediately throws up.

The next person who walks into the bathroom sees the salsa spread across the floor.  He investigates further and sees ‘pellets’ spread across the seat he immediately throws up.

If you have read this far you know that this will keep on happening but good news is further down.  JUST KEEP READING!!!!!!!!!!!

ALL IN ALL IT IS A CRUEL AND DISGUSTING JOKE.  BUT IT MAKES FOR ONE ENTERTAINING STORY!!!!!!!

It’s a beautiful, dazzling day in Falcon Park. School has been dismissed and everyone is out and about playing hockey in the parking lot, and baseball in diamond, and football and soccer in the vast field of turf. The world seems at peace as their is so much happiness and joy in the park. But it is about to become a dark, gloomy, rainy day in an instant.

You decide to partake in the joy illuminating from Falcon Park and take your dog for a walk. You leash up your Bernese mountain dog and head out the door. You lock the door and hit the sidewalks. You make your way to the various trails going through Falcon Park. Since you’re a fat, lazy, person who doesn’t get out much, you have to take a rest at the bench. As you observe the children play their games you don’t notice that your dog, Pooch has escaped from the grasps of his brand new black leather studded collar. You look up to see where Pooch has gone and you see…

Pooch is racing towards a group of kids playing soccer.

They’ve just noticed that Pooch is racing towards them.

They try to run from the enormos bulk of beast that is barking vicously.

Pooch’s mouth is foaming.

He lunges at one of the kids, ripping his face off.

The kid is screaming franctically.

You race toward Pooch and try to rip him off.

He turns around in his wrath and bites your hand off.

You are thrown to the ground from the force that is Pooch.

You are rolling around in a pool of blood in your agony.

The other kid is screaming.

Pooch chases after another kid and wrestles him to the ground.

Pooch inserts his bloodied mouth into they kid’s chest and rips out his lungs.

A bystander nearby has called 9-1-1.

The cops show up with shotguns.

They take aim from behind their car and fire.

The first shot misses him.

The second enters Pooches chest.

He continues running.
The police reload and fire again.

Pooch continues to run.

The police reload and fire again.

Pooch lunges at the door and smashes his skull against the window.

After the dog was slain the news crews come onto the gruesome scene. They report how the vicious dog was killed and how many children he ate in the end. He killed five. You’re safe in the hospital in a comfortable bed. You’re hand is long gone. You just think how lucky you are that you weren’t one of the unfortunate children.